Soulmates


We couldn’t cope.

Because I only saw the good he did for me, ignored the bad and felt only happiness.
While he’d only remembered my tears; of which I remember naught, took the weight on his shoulders and crumbled.

We didn’t last.

Because till this day, I am tormented by feelings I cannot explain due to my carelessness.
While he, saddled with his own distraught, had chosen to disappear from everything we had.

Milestone of the aimless

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18th May 2015 marks the end of my studies, possibly forever, I really hope so. So congratulations to me! No more Chinese or Math to hinder me or be tricked into studying for the rest of my teenage life!

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To be honest, I didn’t want to go for my graduation since it’d barely meant anything to me. All my friends had already graduated early last year and my heart had followed them to whichever university or camp they were posted to.

But then again, it made sense to go since I didn’t plan on donning the graduation gown anytime soon or ever. Not to mention, I couldn’t possibly abandon the little super senior’s club I had going on, consisting mainly of Syaffy, QQ and I. All three of us fought really hard not really to make it through our last semester together and we’re all glad that somehow actually we don’t know how but, all of us made it at the same time or at least same graduation ceremony.

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So here we are, from sulking as we watched our batch friends don their gowns from the benches of block 23’s com labs to melting in our own when our moment finally came.

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Let’s just say that graduating in the evening is the worst. I was melting and my make up was running anywhere and everywhere. It was almost a disaster. Perhaps the only thing I did right through the day was to iron my hair in the morning, keep my form in the shadows and constantly blast my powdered face with aircon any chance I get.

And of course, be fabulous while I was at it.

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*cough*

Steering this post back on track, here’s a picture of the class. Or at least those who bothered to turn up:

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Nii-san/Tokyo buddy/Dale turned up to support/watch me melt everywhere and stop me from possibly rage quiting the entire event.

He got me sunflowers and… a cactus as requested by moi.

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Just to get ahead of the game, I took my graduation photo before I went into the auditorium. I had everything. My flowers, a gown, a stuffed toy… except the diploma itself. But y’know, minor details.

The rest of the day consisted of taking advantage of the great lighting and rolling all over the concourse one last time.

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Kkuma-kun came along with me too!

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To get into an air conditioned space, the bunch of us (Syaffy, QQ and I) registered and got ourselves seated early. Unfortunately we were seated by course and then alphabetical order so we weren’t able to sit together.

Syaffy was somehow seated exactly one row below me and managed to snap an extremely unglamorous shot of how I was sitting then.

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I have a good reason for sitting like that though. For one, the whole row was mine/empty then so I was queen of the horizontal plane for exactly 12minutes before a familiar face, one I haven’t been bothered to pin a name to, tip toed passed me to be seated on my far right.

For two, resting my feet in those heels hurt and I didn’t want them to fall asleep at the last moment. I know, all stars fall someday but I’m not feeling the need to have idiots wishing upon me just yet. #shameless

Of course by wishes I mean, ‘I hope Cherie’s broken ankles heal fast.’ and ‘I wish I knew how she’s going to live that down’.
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Anyway, about an hour later I took the stage and received my diploma. Fun fact, the diploma isn’t in the folder. It’s given to you before you enter again to go back to your seat. School systems just aren’t magical like that. They’re made to be efficient and efficient they are.

I also didn’t know where to look when I was supposed to have my stage photo taken so I’d conveniently crinkled my eyes, smiled a tight smile into a fairly narrowed down direction and prayed my eyeliner and asian genes would finally do me some good.

Another hour and one dance routine later, I had officially graduated as well as found my family in what seemed like a horde of very hungry, toddler weilding parents that were irritating me to no end.

My first priority was to take any photos anyone wanted to take, change out and be gone before I fainted at the feet of someone who was more concerned with a shrimp roll due to the dire lack of oxygen in the enclosed space.

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The family brought me to HaiDiLao to have hotpot and raced me home because well, I’m a working adult now and I do full shifts and shit.

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Oh yeah, food was good.

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On a more meaningful note, this milestone, as much as I deny it to be, has been an important one for me for it is here where I had lost everything and realized that I had nothing.

As much as I say that school had taught me nothing, it had showed me how the world is a cruel place and that not everyone is your friend. Forcing me to do my own self learning where I forge my own failsafes and learn to rely on no one but myself.

I learnt that I can do many things by myself, that I can make my own decisions, that I am strong.

It is here where I first learnt heartbreak, ultimate loss, betrayal and acquired the first scars on my wrists.
It is here where I learnt there is no definite route; that my fate is my own. That as painful as it can be, I have enough will and strength in my bones and blood to tear myself down and build myself up again.
It is here where I learnt my limits and constantly pushed them because I wanted to; sometimes had no choice but to. Many a times I’d bend, at times I break but I tape myself back together and go at it again.

Here I learnt that through numerous amount of stress, depression and agony, there is success, accomplishment and self-validation. That there is also happiness in myself, not only in what others can suppliment me with.

At the end of the day, I am an environmental engineer.

But I am also human. I am wise. I am proud. I am so many things that makes me who I am.

I am Cherie and as I take my leave from this educational contest stage where we strive so hard to glitter and flounce around in, I finally make my debut onto the world stage alongside my sisters. To live and survive with grace, awarded from countless instances of failure and defeat. To never forget why we started in the first place.

I have not graduated from school. I have graduated into the world.

X

Masterchef: Cafe Kitchen Edition

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First, look at this Rilakkuma espresso cup. I’m better than you.

Teehee, just kidding. But seriously, look at it.

Cough.

A while ago (last week, actually.), my cafe bosses went outstation, leaving us (chef and I) on a budget/limited petty cash.
We decided that to save on petty cash, we had to try getting rid of all the food in the fridge/freezer we didn’t serve anymore.

By well, eating everything.

So began an epic attempt to salt and pepper anything and everything that was about to expire. Normally we fried or toasted them over the toaster. If all else failed, we boiled the hell out of it.

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The week started out with this week old blueberry teacake that couldn’t be served anymore because… go figure. Nonetheless, food was food so I scraped the mold off the side and microwaved the pastry. Because if radiation can kill humans, it could kill most of the bacteria on my bread, right?

One good thing would be that it still tasted good. Another would be that I am now convinced I have a stomach of steel, since I didn’t find myself running to the toilet that day.

That was lunch settled.

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For dinner, chef found chicken stock in the kitchen and boiled it with an assortment of vegetables we had no idea we had in the fridge.

We had:
– Leftover corn from when I was vegan
– Carrots from I don’t know how long ago.
– Leafy veg from when boss cooked dinner once
– Frozen mixed vegetable mix
– A half opened can of mini sausages. How long has it been like that in the fridge? It didn’t really matter. We were gonna boil the hell out of it anyway.

Along the way, we found dumpling filling in the fridge, wrapped a few dumplings and threw it into the soup.

DUMPLING SIDE STORY:
The dumplings were originally meant to be boiled in plain water but chef and I had this brilliant idea of boiling it into mushroom soup.

We used the wrong saucepan and the milk ended up burning, making everything in it taste um, toasty.

Did we eat it?
With much effort.

Did we think we could cook?
Evidently not.

Moving on, we went on to eat everything in our little stew for three days, constantly reserving the stock, adding water and throwing whatever we could find into it.

Inevitably, we grew increasingly tired of dodgy cabbage stew and moved on to try different methods of burning cooking stuff.

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I swear this is going to sound like I came from the stone age but BEHOLD.

THE ART OF STIR-FRYING.

Boss was nice enough to buy cheese tofu for us before she left so we pan fried it with much ease.

Vegetable wise, we found half a bittergourd in the fridge so we stir fried it with eggs, seasoning with salt and pepper (because we don’t exactly know how to use anything else).

Chef must have thought highly of me because he tasked me with stir frying the veg not knowing that before this, the closest I’d been to actually cooking something was microwaving instant noodles.

Yes, I microwave my instant noodles instead of using the stove method because I’m that lazy and useless. I didn’t even know you could boil water over a stove to cook noodles that way till I was 18.

You can’t say anything I haven’t already told myself.

So after all that has been said to justify my next sentence, of course I got the stir fry wrong. I didn’t cook the bittergourd enough before putting the egg in so the gourd became extremely bitter.

So can Cherie cook?
Gold star for trying.

Good thing Chef managed to save it by adding water into the pan and simmering it down to continue cooking the veg. A whole lot of salt and pepper later, the dish didn’t taste half bad.

Then came what I could do best.

Microwaving. Honest to God, I swear I’m so useless sometimes.

We also found some mutton curry and canned salmon flakes so I tossed them into a bowl and microwaved it for a minute while I poked around for wraps. Wraps, because I have no idea how to cook rice over a stove.
I come from a family where most of my food is reheated or even made in a microwave okay, you don’t know me, you don’t know my life. D:

I toasted Chef’s herb and spice wraps real good, mainly because the wraps were 3 days past expiration date. But as my chef says, it’s okay. It just means you can’t serve it. #logic

But everything came together in the end and we actually ate a full meal.

But that was only for one meal. We still had to think of what we could make for the rest of the days, so here it is.

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Really, mini, pancake stacks. It actually looks pretty presentable untill you zoom out and realize how very pathetic it looks from afar but nonetheless, cute.
These came from when we had to test pancake batter. Nutella sauce was from when we were changing nutella bottles, while the bananas were the really ripe and brown ones we found in the fridge that we browned with a blowtorch so we could trick ourselves into thinking it was okay to eat it.

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Here’s a picture of the 1UP mushroom we found at the bottom of our bag of shitake mushrooms. It went into this:

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Heh heh… not too bad ourselves, right? On the last day, chef brought salmon fillets while I thawed some beef sausages to boil and fry. We stir fried potatoes with mushrooms and scambled eggs that was mixed with reserved egg whites as well, before putting everything together.

And wow, did it look legit.

It was actually the best meal we put together during the week, not that the rest sucked, just that it was probably the only one where we didn’t get out meats out of a can.

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During the week while I was working myself to skin and bones, I was actively practising my coffee pouring and I think I’m getting there!

Not to mention, I had tons of coffee while working. Really took advantage of the fact that coffee is an appetite supressant.

I’d like to write more, but I kind of ran out of things to say. Not to mention, I am writing this while I’m at the cafe so…

I’ll write again soon!
Cherie

Flags and Checkpoints

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Hello hello from the train towards Farrer Park, Tamper&Co!

Life’s been rather peaceful over here, if not for a few pesky customers, one of which I am tempted to dedicate a post to. It probably isn’t the brightest idea, but I’ll  think thrice about it.

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Besides endless cleaning at the cafe thanks to my excessive sense of hygiene, I’ve been gifted reign over Tamper’s tip jar questions and instagram!
Do follow us at: @tamperandco
I promise the captions will be entertaining ;)

Moving on and talking about flags…

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I’m not sure if I’m cupid of something (that would be very sad) or if I’m hitting all the relationship flags.

Which is kind of ridiculous, since I’d just gotten out of my most recent boiling-over-with-cringe-worthy-instances relation-I-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-to-call-it.

Is this a sign? Am I about to meet the one? I really don’t know how to feel about that again, that is if I know how to feel again, especially since one of my friends is(?) going through his initial courting stage and it still looks as agnozing and I remember it to be.

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School or whatever is left to do with it wise, it seems like I’m finally graduating. Ah, what a formal way to be kicked out of school, eh? I’ll be graduating on 18 May, which isn’t too far away. All that’s left to do is to actually sign up for it by tomorrow. If I forget, I guess I wouldn’t be showing up to have my matriculation card formally confiscated. Which if you think about it, isn’t to bad.

Honestly, I’m pretty nervous for it (because I guess I should go). I wouldn’t know my classmate’s faces anymore (I couldn’t be bothered to remember) and I don’t know what to do during the day itself. Am I supposed to sit here? Do I get to listen to music? Which student portal do I enter? Am I actually graduating?

This is way too stressful. I didn’t take a module on how to graduate in poly. Do I really have to go back to school just to rent the gown? And 25bucks?!

I guess it’s this school’s last chance to rob me blind. Sigh.

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I broke fast very recently and have been in a pretty good mood since. Went out with fast buddy (now turned Nii-san) to have ramen and um, eat some more.

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Pardon how vain I really am, it’s just that thanks to my current job, I don’t get to gussy up very often. I wake up too damn early to bother.

And to all the readers who may like me just for my posted pictures, please don’t. It’s all make up. I think tagged photos on Facebook are more accurate. If you can find me on Facebook that is.

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While walking around China Square with Nii-san, we came across this board. Took a picture as reference to what I could do for the cafe.

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Ended off the day with PIEEE. Actually, we had ramen and went around looking for good pecan pie the rest of the day. Pretty much hiked from Farrer Park MRT to Windowsil Pies before I could sink my teeth into these sweet, sweet pies.

I really missed them. It just carries enough good memories for me to taste the happy on my tongue when I bite into them.

They did change their pecan pie to pumpkin pecan, which was surprisingly good too, except I was looking for something more sticky and sweet. Nonetheless, I would still go back for pumpkin pecan. It’s strangely… comforting. Now I know why grandmothers make pumpkin pie in books.

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Back at the cafe I’ve been practicing my milk frothing and pouring because my boss is thinking of sending me for coffee courses (YAYNESS).

Aside from that, I’ve started replaying this Line game called ‘Line: I Love Coffee’, where I run a virtual cafe. That being said, it’s a given that all my friends poked me about it. They say it isn’t counted as an off day if I’m still associating myself with coffee when I’m out and about. Hm.

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Speaking of off days, I wish I woke up like this. This picture wasn’t taken on an off day, more of just a short day at work.

I guess the good thing about working full time in F&B is the fact that every scheduled week is a surprise. The downside would probably be the fact that I work 6 days a week slaving away behind a bar. Not that it’s a bad thing, I actually like being behind the bar (Unless it’s a jail cell then I’d rather not). It’s actually quite fulfilling when you see yourself improve.

Anyway, the whole reason why I got that 4hour work day was probably because boss was getting me ready to work a really tiring week of back to back full shifts. You could say I was supposed to go home and rest up. But did I?

Of course not.

Instead, I went all the way out to town to slog away at building my 77dollar limited edition pink crystal (yes, I feel the need to justify myself) Tokyo Skytree for 7hours. Did I feel well rested? Maybe. I did, however, earn myself a ton of satisfaction and a stiff neck.

Ah blah. So today somewhat starts my so-called hell week where I have to push for sales everyday.

THEREFORE EVERYONE SHOULD VISIT ME.

Because poor me needs to make a living and practise on her form of art, okay?

I’ll see you guys around!
Cherie

Welcome to the Family – Avenged Sevenfold

Hey kid (hey kid), do I have your attention?
I know the way you’ve been livin’
Life so reckless,
Tragedy endless
Welcome to the family

Hey, there’s somethin’ missin’
Only time will alter your vision
Never in question,
Lethal injection
Welcome to the family

Not long ago you’d find the answers were so crystal clear
Within a day you find yourself livin’ in constant fear

Can you look at yourself now?
Can you look at yourself?!
You can’t win this fight

And in a way it seems there’s no one to call
When our thoughts are so numb and our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But you can’t win this fight

Hey (hey kid), I have to question,
What’s with the violent aggression?
Details blurry,
Lost ’em too early
Welcome to the family

Hey, why won’t you listen?
Can’t help the people you’re missin’
It’s been done,
A casualty rerun

Welcome to the family

I’ll try and help you with the things that can’t be justified
I need to warn you that there is no way to rationalize

So have you figured it out now?
So have you figured it out?!
You can’t win this fight

And in a way it seems there’s no one to call
When our thoughts are so numb and our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But you can’t win this fight

Gunning for you
And all mankind
I’ve lost my mind
Psychotic, rapid dementia
I won’t be fine

I see, you’re a king who’s been dethroned
Cast out in a world you’ve never known
Stand down, place your weapons by your side
It’s our war, in the end we’ll surely lose but that’s alright

So have you figured it out now?
So have you figured it out?!

And in a way it seems there’s no one to call
When our thoughts are so numb and our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But you can’t win this fight

[2x]
Deep inside
Where nothing’s fine
I lost my mind
You’re not invited
So step aside

I lost my