The first time is always the most painful…?

I had my first main exam for my second semester today. I WASN’T GOOD. It was horrible actually. On my way to school, I didn’t feel so nervous; confident even.

I was thinking:

“What could go wrong? Solar power, hydroelectrical power and… oh I forgot the last one again but I’ll remember it when they ask me for it in the exam!”

“What’s a fuel cell? Its the chemical reaction of anodes and cathodes to produce electricity! Easy!”

“A game of popstar? WHY NOT?”

“Breakfast even when I already ate at home? SURE!”

“COP 17? I don’t think it’ll come out.” (It didn’t but COP 15 did. I didn’t study that either.)

“Kyoto protocol : GHG , Montreal protocol: Ozone depletion, Basel Protocol: Hazardous waste control. Got it.”

“Whats a hetrojunction PV cell? Remember band gaps.”

“Motor and generator. Aren’t they the same thing?”

“Great! I’m all prepared!”

So I march into the exam hall, as bright as a vandalized brick. An hour and a half later, I get up from my seat and strut down the makeshift catwalk of students writing furiously. Oh yeah. I had it all under control. All was cool, all was alright. At the back of my mind I was actually hoping that I was stressing the kids out into thinking I was way smarter than them. Why won’t they be? I finished my paper a whole half hour earlier than them!

I go up to the front of the hall and place my answer booklet neatly in the stack of other finished papers; papers of friends’ because I study with such awesomely intelligent people, and checked for wets spots so that my ink didn’t run. This was, of course, Code: Asian Student Protocol. School says that if your ink get runny, it’s not their fault because you shouldn’t even be using ink pens in main examinations (or correction fluid). But who uses ballpoints in the first place? I know I don’t.

I collect my bag, but before that, making lots of noise (E.g pushing my way through tables and chairs noisily, making extra effort on the chairs). A fellow study groupmate joins me at the pile of bags to collect hers. She looks at me, I look back and grin, so does she. Oh yeah, we are smart people alright, what is clean energy to us.

We walked out and closed the door semi loudly. It makes people think we just came out of there and got business done. But the moment we were safely out of the sight of the other candidates… damn. You should have seen how our aura dropped. I don’t know how to explain it. But it seemed something like this:

I’m not even exaggerating. We didn’t meet the eyes of the other students who were discussing their answers excitedly. We kept our heads down and walked. The corridoor never seemed to long in my life. Normally I’d be bounding out of there. Freedom! Joy! But at that moment, all I wanted to do was run back into that examnation hall, rip my answer booklet up and start begging for a re-test. But what’s done is done and the exam was now formally over. For the both of us.

Out of the dimly lit corridoor, we finally had reception. My buddy pulls out her phone and dials our other study buddies. If it were me, I swear I would have sobbed , whined and threaten to throw myself off the railings. Once location was acquired, we made our way over to said location, where we met with our friends who were comparing answers in the most calm manner, also high fiving each other. To be honest, the sight of it hurt.

Once they spotted us, they smiled encouragingly and we exchanged enthusiastic greetings; botoxed full of sarcasm that everyone there understood. Then we decided to do what all students do after exams no matter how painful. We decided to compare answers. The following was encouraging if you were me and had little but an ounce of optimism left.

We still got at least 50% of the MCQ right! (Although it’s only 20 marks. But marks are marks like sugar is sweet.)

The more we checked, the dimmer the possiblility of all us failing the module in unison. A pass is a pass and to me it was good enough. Personally, I don’t know about them. I don’t think they did as badly as I did really. All I wrote on my paper was long chunks and paragraphs of intellectual sounding bull. Besides, the people who say they are going to fair are always the ones who score best! People these days are so queer really. You never know if what they are saying is the truth or are just words just to make you feel better. Both of which I’m okay with really, anything to make myself happy I’d say. :>

In the end, plans of studying together after the paper was cancelled and we split up and went home. 4 of them took a cab home together traitor!, which was good for them because the walk to the bus stop was the most unpleasant. It was scorching and my friend and I were sweating like pigs at least I was. I think. It was basically everything to complete this absolutely horrible day. Although the banana smoothie we bought to distract ourselves during the walk did help a little bit.


I am currently reading a book online/on my android. It’s called ‘Born Immortal‘ It is absolutely darling I’d say. I really hope I’m reading Fantasy/Romance because if nothing happens and everything is going to be all action, I am going to be one pissed bitch.

Anyway, link to the website is stated below. Now I just have to figure out how to find fanfiction for fiction, and fast.

Toodles! Off to study.



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