Confused.

Hey I’ve been gone for a while haven’t I?

Well over the time I’ve been gone I’ve been doing loads of thinking and I’m helluva confused.

Somewhere while I was thinking, I was enlightened.

I realized that one sided love will never work out. Well that was fast, Cherie.

I didn’t even cry over it. Sure, I felt pretty empty after that realization but I also felt free. It’s a nice feeling actually. I could finally guard my own heart myself. I didn’t have to worry someone else would break it. My heart was mine again and I’m just so relieved. I really don’t feel like giving it away either.

But I need to ask everyone.

What if someone comes along, persistent and willing to wait? Someone who seems all too good to be true?

I don’t know who to trust- myself or someone else?

I don’t want to let go of this feeling of freedom either.

I don’t want people to tell me not to but I don’t want the beautiful lie either.

Practicality tells me that this isn’t going to work out when my heart tells me ‘why not?’

My heart says ‘just take a leap of faith. while my brain reminds me of everything I went through to feel free again.

This constant battle is holding me back a lot. I don’t know if it is good or bad.

Don’t know what to do with this situation of mine and this entry doesn’t make sense anymore.

Cherie.

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