Me missing you is sort of different.
Many girls wait around their phone for that one text or call. I wait around for a direct message or a blog post. Many girls tweet about not being able to hold their boyfriend’s/crush’s hands but I tweet about not hearing from you at all.
Me missing you is pretty different.
When I think of you I don’t feel butterflies, I guess I’m past that. Missing you, my world gets a tad bit warmer, the birds sing a little louder and I feel a little lighter. I feel like smiling to anybody, hugging anybody or just laughing at anything in particular. I smell happy things; marshmallows, blueberries, strawberries and cream. My walk turns into a light gallop, bouncing at every step. I feel a little prettier, a little cuter, sometimes a little sexier.
Me missing you is very different.
It’s all I ever do. From when I wake up to whatever I do, I think of you. To when I am working, to when I’m sitting by myself. Missing you is like writing my own book, missing you is like copying and pasting you into my life. Missing you is like breathing to me, I don’t remember a day I never thought about you.
But missing you can be painful.
When I don’t hear from you (sometimes) at all. When I feel burdensome to you at times. When I suddenly have this horribly strong urge to kiss you and hug you but know that you’re all the way over there. Missing you can be painful, when I want to hold your hand and lean on your shoulder so desperately. When I lie in bed and wish you were just beside me to hug to sleep. To want you to lie on my lap and let me pat you to sleep. To let me cook for you or pamper you.
Missing you can also be excruciating.
When I actually tell you that ‘I miss you.’ and ‘I missed you’. Because really, I honestly and most sincerely did, spend my entire day thinking about you. Wondering if you missed me too. I guess it hurts when it goes unacknowledged. That’s why I’m so fearful of saying it anymore.
Yet I’ve never grown tired of missing you.
I guess, missing you is more good than bad. At least I know my heart is safe where it is, not stolen or broken. I just hope you know what my words mean, so if ever I have the guts to say it again next time, you’ll know. (: