I’m lying next to you staring into your eyes; we aren’t saying anything, just lying there with each other. They say the eyes are the windows the soul. I see hues of brown and warmth swirl in them as I catch a glimpse of myself peering back. I look away, not because I cannot stand the sight of your eyes of which I could get lost in forever, but because I couldn’t stop seeing a frightened girl who didn’t know what love is, reflected in them.

You’re playing with my hair, brushing it away from my face as I continue to stare up at you in wonder. I still cannot believe a person like you exists. I can hardly fathom why someone like you would pick someone like me. Your eyes regard mine with such adoration I can barely hold their gaze. They blink once; twice. We haven’t said a word yet somehow you already know as you lean forward to plant a kiss on my forehead.

You deserve this. You deserve so much more.’ You held me steady. Grounded me. Made sure I was conscious enough to comprehend exactly what you meant.

And I must thank you, because even as the notion terrifies me to no end- for the first time in my life I was able to believe that I was worthy.



I tell them I want to die.

They tell me I’m stronger than that.

Carrot and stick.

Takesie – Backsies

You are too careless with
your words set in
stone you end up building a wall between us.

I am too careful with my words I
think everything through before I
say nothing at all.

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Today is Sunday and as much as I dread the hours it possesses, my only comfort is that it will all come to pass.
And tomorrow will be Monday and as fast it goes, Tuesday I am back where I started, pining for another day of supposed peace. 
My days are spent waiting for nothing in particular. Patiently waiting for something I cannot see. It gets under my skin, this pointlessness. 

I wish I could cut it out; remove it. But it is elusive, as I tear my skin apart looking for it.