How to Lose Your Wallet in Singapore

I am writing this because I have just recently lost my entire wallet, not that there is anything of much value in there except, I don’t know, almost every form of identification I have and the card to my entire life savings. Of course, I had other less significant things in there like my notoriously long physiotherapy appointment card(s) from yesteryear, various membership cards to places I don’t go to anymore and not forgetting, Polaroids I have no idea how to get rid of (well now I know).

I’d like to say that excluding the time needed to get my Oh-So-Important identification card remade, I did a pretty good job getting my essentials back. A record breaking 5 hours to be exact, and here’s how I did it. I call this baby the

‘HA-HA YOU LOST YOUR WALLET BECAUSE YOU WERE A BLUR FUCK NOW LET ME HELP SHOVEL YOU OUT OF YOUR SHIT’ Protocol: 

Hold your breath because this is going to be good.

Before I start, let me first say that if you are venturing out to have all these things done in a day, BRING ANY FORM OF IDENTIFICATION WITH YOU. This may include your passport or birth certificate, driver’s license if you haven’t already lost it. And before you ask, fingerprints aren’t going to cut it. It’s not freaking Woodland’s Checkpoint at every corner of Singapore. Maybe at the Immigrations and Checkpoint Authority (ICA) later on, but seriously now.

Step #0 A.K.A Prerequisite: 

Firstly, don’t panic.

Step #0.1 Always retrace your steps.

Ask yourself if there was a possibility you’d left somewhere in the house.

Behind the sofa? In between the sofa?

If you were taking the bus home,

Step #0.2 Check with BOTH bus interchanges’ lost and founds before reporting/cancelling cards.

It would be such a waste to have the bus captains call you up just as you cancel your last credit card, or spend a bomb replacing an important document.  

Very basically, everyone would need three fundamental things in their wallet. If you’re a tertiary student like me, four. Said things are:

1. Debit/Credit Cards

This is the card that your should cancel and replace first, especially if you do now know how long you have lost your wallet. Creditcard signatures can easily be forged while some debit card pin numbers are painfully easy to guess (like mine). Always secure your capital before anything else.

I have been banking with POSB my entire life so unfortunately I have no idea how to go about the administrations or protocols of other banks but I’ll leave you with what I have.

Replacing of your debit/credit cards should be fairly easy.

You could ring them up at 1800-339 6666(POSB Hotline) or 1800-111 1111(DBS Hotline) to terminate your card. After which they would ask if you would like your card mailed to you or if you would want to *collect it on the spot at a bank branch.

*Do note that should you opt for a self collection, you will then have to look for a POSB Banking branch and queue to have it made on the spot. 

You must bring along any form of identification, NRIC, Passport or Birth Certificate.

On the other hand, if you opt for postage, you will not have to queue up (Yay!) but it would take a processing time of 4-5 working days.

Either options you pick, the replacement cost is $5, that will be automatically deducted from your bank account. This makes replacements of all cards a hell-lot easier because you would not need 5 bucks on hand to get your card. With your card, you may immediately proceed to withdrawn money as usual.

Onward to the next card!

2. EzLink/TransitLink card


I’m not sure what people use around the world, but in Singapore we have this magical card that can serve as a form of identification (If you are a student. Bless you because adult fares suck balls.) and pay for a variety of things, where it’s payment method is available. A couple places I know of that allows EzLink card payment would be 7-11 stores and MacDs’ . I have glimpsed it’s verfi-phone in cabs, but I’m not too sure on that one.

BUT MAINLY, we use this card for transportation- to get around.

Reason why I want the EzLink card to be cancelled and replaced second was simply because no one would bother with an unattended EzLink card. Unless you have a ton of cash in there or your card is linked too a GIRO account, once lost, your card is nothing but a convenient flash-pay cash card for transport and cheap fast food.

Another thing is that I’m counting that like me, you probably lost your entire wallet so you’d have no cash whatsoever. Na-da, zero, scat. You’d need to have your debit cards done up before you have enough cash to even attempt anything else. Remember, cash is king.

Here’s the funny thing.

You can’t go to any random train station to replace your card. 

There are specific locations to have your card done and I am happy to provide you with the following locations:

  • Ang Mo Kio Bus Interchange

  • Choa Chu Kang Bus Interchange

  • Hougang Bus Interchange

  • Jurong East Bus Interchange

  • Pasir Ris Bus Interchange

  • Tiong Bahru MRT Station

Operating Hours: 1000hrs to 1800hrs Daily, Closed on Public Holidays.

Cost of replacement is: $18 

IDENTIFICATION NEEDED!
(NRIC, Passport, Birth Certificate)

I recommend you bring an extra tenner because you would start on a ‘blank’ card which means to say that you would have ‘0’ balance and if you were on concession before… heh. You aren’t now. It sucks, I know.

THE GOOD NEWS IS,

The card is produced on the spot so congratulations, you officially have another card down. (And you can travel without counting pennies. Yay!) Not to mention, if you bring down a passport photo, you could change the picture on your new EzLink card. Look on the bright side, you now have a second chance a making your IDs a little less fugly because we all know that when we were young, we didn’t know that our (most of the time) spastic faces would stick to us in the form of routinely used cards for, well. Ever.

3. NRIC Card


Apologies for the picture, I don’t think I can post an actual picture of an NRIC, plus Thor is so much funnier. And we all know about that dreadful pink Identification Card. Because carry around my birth certificate, why not?

Enough of my bitter banter (haha that rhymed, lol.), this is where things get really tricky.

Things to bring: 

  • Hardcopy of police report
  • Photograph image that must have be taken within the last 3 months
  • *Baptism or Religious certificate for insertion of religious name, if any
  • *Deed poll for change of name, including ethnic name, if any
  • *Marriage Certificate for insertion of married name, if any

*Bring along the original document and a photocopy.

Step 3.1 Making the Police report

This is for your safety, really. Since your IC has essential information that can lead to you either being hounded because said thief had passed off as you to borrow money from loan sharks A.K.A you look like a crook, I’m sorry, or you get stalked, depending on how hot you managed to look on your card, God bless your soul.

Either way, attain a printed copy of the police report you have filed and head over to The Immigration and Checkpoint Authority (ICA) located at:

IC Unit
Citizen Services Centre 
3rd Storey, ICA Building 
10 Kallang Road 
(Next to Lavender MRT station) 
Singapore 208718 

Operating Hours: 
Monday to Friday : 8.00 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. 
Saturday : 8.00 a.m. to 12.30 noon

 Step 3.2 Picture taking

I hate picture taking. I’ve never had my pictures turn out good with a front facing camera, FML.

Anyway, a few things to note when having your picture taken,

  • The photograph should be in colour, must be taken against a white background with a matt or semi-matt finish
  • The photograph image must show the full face and without headgear (headgear worn in accordance with religious or racial customs is acceptable but must not hide the facial features)
  • The photograph cannot be taken in uniform

And we wonder why most of us always turn out ugly.

Apparently, the replacement fee is $60 but from what I hear, it’s $100 so please be prepared.

After all that work (if you got your timing right) you should have your NRIC within 5 working days, if I’m not wrong. Last time I heard, it took a month so kudos to me, not that I need my IC all the time anyway.

So all that’s done is done, I have remade these few cards. I hope this is useful to majority of the Singaporean population.

Cherie

P.S I still have to remake my E-Amusement pass ):

Mission: Spinster

Inspired to bullshit.

To tell you the truth, I’ve never really woke up and gone.

‘Holy crap, it’s a beautiful day.’

No. Never. In fact, I wake up, feel like shit and check my phone. Maybe my friends left an interesting conversation on twitter. Maybe my favorite author on Wattpad updated. Most of the time, it’s the former but what the heck. Like any other beautiful afternoons that I wake up to, I see my brother-in-law waking my sister up. They’re happy. My elder sister walks into the room chatting with her boyfriend/soon to be husband. She’s happy. Both my sisters are attached, one married while the other is already planning. And what am I doing? I’m not allowed a relationship till I’m 19. I’m 18 this year, with no clue what a relationship is (that’s progress right there.), while both my sisters will be married. Married. Someone give me a huge-ass band-aid for my wounded womanly ego.

It gets worst. When I’m out of the house, I don’t feel pretty let alone beautiful at all. No one looks at me and if they do, it’s for all the wrong reasons. Once, a butch asked for my number. Really? Am I that bad? Sure! My dad tells me I’m beautiful. He’s my dad for Pete’s sake.

My friends come back to class, chatting about how they suspect a guy likes one of the girls in our clique. I laugh. Can’t blame them for being freaking gorgeous. I’m already past that stage to be brooding. Cause when you used to be fat, you have very little self confidence. Trust me. So it’s fairly easy to sink back down to that level of confidence even when I’m slimmer.

Slimmer does not mean prettier.

Lesson learnt there.

I’ve been thinking. Since no one wants me and no one other than my family will love me, I might as well prepare for my lifetime of loneliness.

The Cats:

Every lonely person needs cats. Because dogs are too much of a joy. Besides, only married couples with kids have dogs. I kid. I might as well stock up on karma by adopting from SPCA. My friends will be so proud of me. Don’t buy pets! Adopt them! Anyway, cats actually relieves stress and with less stress I have lesser wrinkles. At least I don’t become as unattractive as I already am right?! An animal with medical benefits. How cool is that?!

I’ll work at a pet store. Hell, I’ll open a pet store so I can get discounts on all the cat food and toys for my babies. All my cats will have one name that would probably change everyday since cats aren’t really bothered with what you call them. As long as you feed them, they don’t care. As for feeding, I know cats need to be fed early in the morning if not they would meow you awake. I’ll get up early and feed them. Maybe pick up the morning paper and do some groceries. By dinner, I’d probably be tired as f- and sleep early to wake early again the next day. Well look at that. A healthy lifestyle right there!

Furniture in my house? I’m not about to be a sadistic cunt and de-claw my kitties. I’m not going to have leather furniture. No way. Who needs them? They’re so expensive anyway! Might as well save me the cash so that I can spend more on my cats.

See! With cats, I already have half my life planned out. I know what job I’m going to have and how I’m going to lead my life. Healthily at that.

Social life:

Besides waking early and sleeping early, I need a social life too. From what I’ve learnt in life, you can either be a regular cat lady or a morbid cat lady. I choose the former. Even though I’m running away from cupid doesn’t mean I’m going to forsake my friends!

Since I’m pretty sure I’m straight, I’ll have a good circle of girl-friends. Clubbing? Of course I’ll go clubbing! Isn’t that what a normal singleton does? But I’m not looking for a guy. Nuh-uh. I’m looking for the ones that aren’t exactly straight. That’s right, I’m going for every girl’s fantasy friend. A gay-pal. Which girl can resist? A friend who physically qualifies as a guy and understand everything about you! It’s like having the best of both worlds; having your cake and eating it too.

Well that’s social life for you. Let’s move on to books.

Books:

You think you can go cold turkey the rest of your life? Think again. Cupid isn’t letting you go that easily.

BOOKS. FICTION. MANGA. WHATEVER IT MAY BE.

Bury yourself in it. It’s the only cover you have from Cupid! How else are you going to get that half naked flying baby armed with bows and arrows to leave you alone? By showing him/it you believe in this stupid thing called ‘Love’ of course! This is vital. Look at all the people out there who don’t read romance fiction. Shot down by Cupid that’s what! That blasted thing has been wrecking havoc since day one of life on Earth. Making people drag pianos through a street and catching grenades for others!

ProTip:

Just make sure you don’t get too ahead of yourself. None of the things in fictional romance is true. The guy does not come running after you when you throw a bitch fit, vampires don’t exist and they definitely don’t sparkle.

Food:

You think you can simply eat what you want?

Spinsterhood is not for the weak!

It’s a boot camp for the hardy and only the strongest will prevail! Have you heard of happy food? Well, stock up because you don’t want yourself reconsidering a relationship.

Foods that I recommend are things high in sugar.

These things get you really high and you don’t even get hung over the next day! They taste awesome and will never leave you.

Food never hurt anyone’s feelings.

Unless it’s a fruit cake with a prune on top. *shudder* But other than that, all’s good.

Fat? Of course you’ll get fat if you don’t exercise. Work out! It contributes to a healthy lifestyle. Besides, all the working out would stop you from going out and getting yourself tempted by a single guy. If you really want to backslide, at least do it in a way where you don’t look desperate you know?

Music:

As I have said spinsterhood is not for the weak. You need more than just books to hide from Cupid. You don’t read 24/7. Music is also a good way to trick Cupid into thinking you’re already hit. Listen to love songs. I recommend anything from the Taylor Swift section. Cupids loves that kind of stuff. Plug it in and it’ll be *cue Pokemon BGM* SUPER EFFECTIVE!

If you think these methods aren’t enough, you could try going vegan. Most of the time, you’ll be so busy caring about not hurting animals to even care about boys. You’re cats may even love to more. Besides, there’s no boy out there who is actually vegan.

Just kidding, on both statements.

You have to weave these into your currently lifestyle for it to work. This isn’t a temporary thing. It’s a way of life!

I can only help you this far. The rest is up to your willpower. Stay strong and don’t let that flying baby get you!

Probably ruining it for tons of eligible guys out there,

Cherie.