Why did I do that?

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Howdy! How is life? I don’t know, I don’t exactly have one anymore!

So comes my opening title as stated above. Since my life consists of traveling to and fro the cafe and home, you can count that I try very hard to make my life more interesting.

Be it accepting candy from a stranger or possibly making a penpal out of a random dude on Instagram, I’d do it.

So what really bad decisions have I been making these few days? Tons actually, but I’ll knock them down to a couple because both incidents happened on the same day.
In fact I thought I was so unlucky, I bought a lottery ticket. I didn’t win though, maybe I should buy another when I get hit by a car or something.

WHY DID I DO THAT? #1
Next Sunday is Father’s day (I think) and my family decided to go out for dinner last Saturday (a week before) since I had an early day then. Before anyone points out, no, I still can’t take dinner.

What I agreed to was perhaps even more ridiculous, a buffet dinner. I guess it was sort of nice that it was an ala carte buffet -something new.
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The food wasn’t bad. In fact, it would have probably tasted great if I actually had the stomach for it. I do remember complimenting the freshness of the swordfish sashimi at one point.

Yeap, I had a sashimi buffet with pretty decent sashimi and the only dish I ordered twice was the teapot soup. But the teapot soup was good. Really, really good. Or maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better.

WHY DID I DO THAT? #2
In a desperate attempt to spice up my life, I agreed to go to a foam party with Dom and his girlfriend at Sento-anislandbyitself-sa.

Why is it bad though? Because I work a 6 day week and I would have either just come from work, have work the next day or have to burn an off day to party. For me, I only had an early day on Saturday and Wednesdays are my usual off days so you do the math. Not to mention, I took my next Saturday off because of CharaExpo2015 that I would be cosplaying for so I would technically be working 7 days straight without rest and fresh out of a night of sleep deprived partying. Ah, it’s great to be young, eh?

Anyway I figured it’d be fun, since Dom is probably my only chinese platonic guy friend I’d want partying with me when I’m on a significant amount of alcohol and in a devastating lack of clothing. I was even excited at a certain point.
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Since the dinner before was planned after I agreed to go for this party, I had to cab down to Sentosa if not I wouldn’t make it in time for the guestlist.
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The early party of the night went bearably well, no one approached our group or attempted to get into fights despite our prominent resting bitch faces.

Although I was slightly ticked off by how one of my other friends that I wasn’t close to decided to crash in and tag along the entire night on. He said he had friends in the area but he never went to look for them!!! If it were me, I would have looked for them even for a little hi and by. But he didn’t, even when I told him that maybe he should hint and proceeded to cling to my other guy friend I met there hinthint. I even tried accompanying him, asking him where his friends were HINTHINTHINT.

I failed at ditching him, obviously, since he was still in the cab with me when I got home. *rolls eyes*

Please don’t get me wrong though, he had been nothing but nice to my friends and I while we were out together. From getting us get cups when we were pre drinking outside, to scouting out the storage area while we were queuing. But in the end, I was under the impression that he was already out with his group of friends (that’s why he was there earlier, right?) and that my group wasn’t open to have another person come in. I wasn’t socially prepared to play host to a number five and oh how I hate surprises. Screws with all my plans.

I know I’m coming off as quite the ungrateful bitch but you see, two is a couple, three is a crowd, four is a party. I really didn’t need a fifth to host. Because that’s what I do with people I don’t know well. I put on a mask and play nice. Play host. Not tell them to fuck off because I’d like to spend some quality time with people I actually want to spend time with.

So the night gradually grew to become extremely tiring, from pre drinks where I had to make sure he wasn’t feeling left out in anyway (because that would make everyone very awkward when people realize they forgot about him) by constantly offering him drinks from my cup like he was some sort of date I was bringing out to meet friends for the first time (I’m really sensitive to these kinds of things) to the dancefloor where I was constantly looking if he had lost us in the crowd (oh how I wish I did) because his belongings were in Dom’s girlfriend’s, Vivi’s bag. I felt bad that she had to be the one carrying everything. She had the bottle of Jager as well as everyone’s valuables in her tiny sling bag, my shoulders hurt just thinking about it.

In my extremely high state, I had half the mind to tell him to just go away but somehow the passive aggressiveness in me won and I simply sulked everytime I saw him anywhere near me. But like I’d said, I was determined to have a good time so I stole Vivi from Dom and danced with her majority of the night. Sorry Dom.

WHY DID I DO THAT? #BONUS
Just when you think things couldn’t get any worst, the alcohol hit me while I was in the shallow pool and I kind of blanked out. Vivi tried to steady me but I sort of took her with me, rolling us both out of the pool. In the spirit of the SEA Games, a gold medal for Cherie, please.

But I wish I was that lucky. I figured that someone else tried to steady me but ended up pulling at the strings of my bikini bottoms, unraveling it. The thought itself is so nightmarish, I definitely had to be high on something to actually manage processing it so calmly. I do vaguely remember thinking to myself ‘This is a nightmare.‘, to which a small voice in my head whispered ‘This is exactly why we don’t party‘.

My guy friend asked if I wanted him to tie it for me, something I violently rejected. I don’t even like people touching me when I’m sober.

It’s a good thing Vivi acted quickly and tied it into a dead knot before I could actually register what was going on and my honor/decency was restored. Not my bikini though.

The next day, life decided to throw me a bone and gave me a good latte day at work.

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It feels really good to be back to coffee though my days are slow and boring. It kinda pisses be off that my life is either really boring or honor-threatening. Why can’t I have a normal life?

Like those slice-of-life shoujo manga ones.
That and a side of fries please.

Cherie

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Milestone of the aimless

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18th May 2015 marks the end of my studies, possibly forever, I really hope so. So congratulations to me! No more Chinese or Math to hinder me or be tricked into studying for the rest of my teenage life!

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To be honest, I didn’t want to go for my graduation since it’d barely meant anything to me. All my friends had already graduated early last year and my heart had followed them to whichever university or camp they were posted to.

But then again, it made sense to go since I didn’t plan on donning the graduation gown anytime soon or ever. Not to mention, I couldn’t possibly abandon the little super senior’s club I had going on, consisting mainly of Syaffy, QQ and I. All three of us fought really hard not really to make it through our last semester together and we’re all glad that somehow actually we don’t know how but, all of us made it at the same time or at least same graduation ceremony.

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So here we are, from sulking as we watched our batch friends don their gowns from the benches of block 23’s com labs to melting in our own when our moment finally came.

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Let’s just say that graduating in the evening is the worst. I was melting and my make up was running anywhere and everywhere. It was almost a disaster. Perhaps the only thing I did right through the day was to iron my hair in the morning, keep my form in the shadows and constantly blast my powdered face with aircon any chance I get.

And of course, be fabulous while I was at it.

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*cough*

Steering this post back on track, here’s a picture of the class. Or at least those who bothered to turn up:

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Nii-san/Tokyo buddy/Dale turned up to support/watch me melt everywhere and stop me from possibly rage quiting the entire event.

He got me sunflowers and… a cactus as requested by moi.

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Just to get ahead of the game, I took my graduation photo before I went into the auditorium. I had everything. My flowers, a gown, a stuffed toy… except the diploma itself. But y’know, minor details.

The rest of the day consisted of taking advantage of the great lighting and rolling all over the concourse one last time.

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Kkuma-kun came along with me too!

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To get into an air conditioned space, the bunch of us (Syaffy, QQ and I) registered and got ourselves seated early. Unfortunately we were seated by course and then alphabetical order so we weren’t able to sit together.

Syaffy was somehow seated exactly one row below me and managed to snap an extremely unglamorous shot of how I was sitting then.

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I have a good reason for sitting like that though. For one, the whole row was mine/empty then so I was queen of the horizontal plane for exactly 12minutes before a familiar face, one I haven’t been bothered to pin a name to, tip toed passed me to be seated on my far right.

For two, resting my feet in those heels hurt and I didn’t want them to fall asleep at the last moment. I know, all stars fall someday but I’m not feeling the need to have idiots wishing upon me just yet. #shameless

Of course by wishes I mean, ‘I hope Cherie’s broken ankles heal fast.’ and ‘I wish I knew how she’s going to live that down’.
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Anyway, about an hour later I took the stage and received my diploma. Fun fact, the diploma isn’t in the folder. It’s given to you before you enter again to go back to your seat. School systems just aren’t magical like that. They’re made to be efficient and efficient they are.

I also didn’t know where to look when I was supposed to have my stage photo taken so I’d conveniently crinkled my eyes, smiled a tight smile into a fairly narrowed down direction and prayed my eyeliner and asian genes would finally do me some good.

Another hour and one dance routine later, I had officially graduated as well as found my family in what seemed like a horde of very hungry, toddler weilding parents that were irritating me to no end.

My first priority was to take any photos anyone wanted to take, change out and be gone before I fainted at the feet of someone who was more concerned with a shrimp roll due to the dire lack of oxygen in the enclosed space.

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The family brought me to HaiDiLao to have hotpot and raced me home because well, I’m a working adult now and I do full shifts and shit.

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Oh yeah, food was good.

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On a more meaningful note, this milestone, as much as I deny it to be, has been an important one for me for it is here where I had lost everything and realized that I had nothing.

As much as I say that school had taught me nothing, it had showed me how the world is a cruel place and that not everyone is your friend. Forcing me to do my own self learning where I forge my own failsafes and learn to rely on no one but myself.

I learnt that I can do many things by myself, that I can make my own decisions, that I am strong.

It is here where I first learnt heartbreak, ultimate loss, betrayal and acquired the first scars on my wrists.
It is here where I learnt there is no definite route; that my fate is my own. That as painful as it can be, I have enough will and strength in my bones and blood to tear myself down and build myself up again.
It is here where I learnt my limits and constantly pushed them because I wanted to; sometimes had no choice but to. Many a times I’d bend, at times I break but I tape myself back together and go at it again.

Here I learnt that through numerous amount of stress, depression and agony, there is success, accomplishment and self-validation. That there is also happiness in myself, not only in what others can suppliment me with.

At the end of the day, I am an environmental engineer.

But I am also human. I am wise. I am proud. I am so many things that makes me who I am.

I am Cherie and as I take my leave from this educational contest stage where we strive so hard to glitter and flounce around in, I finally make my debut onto the world stage alongside my sisters. To live and survive with grace, awarded from countless instances of failure and defeat. To never forget why we started in the first place.

I have not graduated from school. I have graduated into the world.

X

Chapter Two

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In case no one knows, this is how my hair is now. It looks quite okay now, but this is after at least 15minutes of blow drying my fringe alone. Also, I look like my secondary school self. Something I’m not sure how to feel about.

Met a couple of my good poly friends today for dinner. Life really sucks when you’re vegan. I felt bad because I couldn’t eat majority of the things at Serangoon Garden, especially the two ice cream cafes there.
Note to self, get there earlier if you want seats at Chomp Chomp and eat all the ice cream you humanely can when you break fast, Cherie.

Eventually we sat down for prata and I had a jumbo sugarcane drink while we caught up with each other. Thanks to them, I remembered that my graduation ceremony is in May, only when they asked me because they wanted to come down.

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Seriously going to miss these guys. Meeting up has been hard since both are serving nation service now and it’s about to get harder because..

Tomorrow (or in a few hours) I’m starting a new full time job, this time in FnB. Yup, I’m finally putting myself out there again. Been sort of moody the past few days because of this since I see it as losing my freedom and possibly my soul to it. Bad experiences while working does this to you.

Hopefully it will be a job I can stay long on for experience!

Wish me luck!
Cherie

Missing In Action

Hey guys~
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I’ve been MIA for awhile, mainly because I’ve been trying to damn hard to juggle my gaming, real and work lives. Basically, I had too much yearn for the virtual world and too much work in the real world so that combination simply tore me apart. It wasn’t that work was extremely tough (even though there were days that I wanted cars to hit me simply so that I could get myself hospitalized and attain long medical leave) but because my customers were so horrible dull, angry and mundane that it drove me insane with want to go back to this colourful and mythical place called the internet. Or at least just Tumblr.

Anyway, I’d decided to quit my job middle of last month because I simply couldn’t take it. I was wasting away and life kind of worst than when I was in school. Which is what people say, ‘You’re gonna miss studying when you go out to work’ but no, I don’t want to go back to school because school means failing a lot of shit and having low self esteem so I’d rather be working and earning a living for myself. Contributing to the household is actually quite feel-good, come to think of it.

Enough about all the resignation talk though, I’m just here to say that I’m finally back and ready to queue and post stuff again! So excited. So many books to read and review again, poetry to upload. Also, it’s not like I haven’t had time to go out while I was working. I had, just that I haven’t had to time to blog about it. But I will be uploading my very late posts (as usual) soon so do stay tuned!

Ta-ta for now,
Cherie

Crafting Guld Milla

This is probably the achievement of the year for me.

As everyone knows, I’ve been MIA from real life for quite a while because I’ve been playing this game called ‘Phantasy Star Online 2‘. In a nutshell, I was supposed to be playing this game solely to get revenge on a certain couple but fate decided to chain me to the game by having an online friend talk me into starting a team.

So now I’m here, already hopelessly addicted to the game when I decide to take things a step further.

Since the time I got my Guld Millas, I’ve been obsessed with them, to a point that I decided to make them in real life.
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How the Millas look like.

The feat had seemed easy enough, till I was met with time constraint due to the start of my current full time job but with the help of a cosplay buddy, I was able to get the job done within 3 weekends.

Here’s how I did it:

Before this step, I had already weighed and sprayed (that rhymed) my M-9s because I didn’t think of documenting everything at the earlier stages.
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This is a little bit of homework my cosplay buddy, Dom had me do, mainly because I left my silver spray paint at home and had to spray the gun magazines silver.
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I am aware that the actual magazine is blue as well but I thought the gun needed more colours other than black, blue and green.
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For the wings, I cut them out of wood and sprayed them blue over an initial coat of dull black. Half way through, we ran out of dull black and decided to just wing it and sprayed everything royal blue. It turned out okay except for a few beams of uneven drying.

We also decided that we wouldn’t have enough blue paint to go around so we rushed down to Art Friend for more blue paint and came back. On the way back, it started raining and we were kind of worried about whether our stuff would get wet because we were leaving them out to dry.
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Back at Dom’s house, we sprayed the guns blue and started painting on the details. It felt really awesome to finally hold a paintbrush again, you have no idea.
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The sun set while we were still painting and we used the phone’s flashlight to see things clearly.
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With everything finally done, we started gluing everything together.
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We were super excited to have so much done, we almost forgot to glue the magazines on LOL.
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And finally, how they turned out!

I have the greatest time crafting milla and probably wouldn’t have been able to do shit if it wasn’t for all his help. Super thankful for having him around.

What’s left is to get my miko together for AFA, though I don’t think I’ll be able to pull it through since the package may have been lost in the mail. I have, however, ordered a school uniform online and I really hope it’ll arrive on time together with my wig.

Pray that everything comes together well!
Cherie