If I have a kid, he/she MUST turn out like that. There is no in between.

I’ve probably been on this topic alot since I’ve advanced into aunt-hood, but let’s talk about it again. Let’s talk about children.

Yes, those pesky literal squirts that look like aliens when they are first born and grow into miniatures of their parents with the sole intent of shoving anything and everything into their mouths. Personally, I like them. I like pinching them, I like carrying them. I’m just not too fond of baby farts, diaper changing and oh my God, do you know how heavy they get in the first few month? My biceps can’t keep up.

As the only unmarried and unattached child of my father (for now I hope), I tend to get teased alot for being single. Let’s not get to the point that I’ve been single my entire life -I’m not even kidding- and it’s probably because of all the teasing that the notion of having a kid has actually popped into my mind and stayed there for a good week. 

I’m talking about skipping the entire boyfriend deal, marriage scam and over-exaggerated sex and simply popping a mini-me out. 

I’ve thought about it and wouldn’t it be a sweet deal?

I don’t run the risk of cheating husbands, naggy mother-in-laws and possibly marriage debt. Plus I get the cutest little thing out of everything. Very much like a Pokemon, where you get to train and equip with skills like piano lessons and ballet class.

I’d probably spend time teaching them everything. From their languages,

How to socialize with other human spawns,

My kind of hygiene,

How to manage anger,


How to do laundry,

I could even be a sports mom

So you see, I wouldn’t be that bad a mom. I’d be the fracking coolest of them all.